RR #2 Response to Kimmel

“Bros Before Hos” written by Michael Kimmel is an excerpt from his book  Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men which was published in 2008.  Kimmel, a sociologist and University instructor in New York writes about what he calls “the guy code”, the reasons and meaning of what drives men’s need to appear masculine and all powerful.    He states “Our efforts to maintain a manly front cover everything we do.  What we wear. How we talk. How we walk. What we eat (612).”   Kimmel discusses how young boys are set up to learn this code from an early age and why this has lead many more boys than girls to participate in high risk behavior and also statistically have more depression and ADHD.
This discussion begs the question, is it nature or nurture that causes boys and men to live by the “guy code” and my assertion is that although testosterone plays some role in this issue, our society has a much larger role in ensuring that “boys will be boys”.   Kimmel discusses common theories “... of biology that claim that this definition of masculinity is “hard-wired,” the result of millennia of evolution adaption or the behavioral response to waves of aggression-producing testosterone and therefore inevitable.(614)”   He goes on to explain that “if it were biological, it would be as natural as breathing or blinking.  In truth, the Guy Code fits as comfortably as a straightjacket.(615)” When a boy is born, our society has already pigeon holed the child and programming starts pretty much instantly, from the types of toys that are purchased to the colors that are acceptable to dress the child or decorate his room in.  Among many parents in today’s society buying a boy a doll or allowing him to wear something pink is completely unacceptable.  From an early age boys are told that crying shows weakness and as they get older terms such as “man up” becomes common place.  One can argue that fathers, who in most cases went through similar training from their fathers, feel that it is a threat to their own masculinity if their boy child should show any traits that fall outside of the expected norm.  Even if some families have chosen to take a less dogmatic stance on teaching the code, once these boys emerge into their adolescent peer groups in elementary and middle school they are pressured to conform or they run the risk of being excluded if they don’t.  I therefore agree with Kimmel  when discussing the biology versus society issue he states “What these theories fail to account for is the way that masculinity is coerced and policed relentlessly by other guys.(614)” .  He is really confirming that society’s role in ensuring the “guy code” is followed is really the major player.
When Kimmel uses the term “fits as comfortably as a straight jacket” he is talking about how men have got very little choice but to participate in the “guy code” and that participating means that they are bound by a set of rigid rules created by the culture in which they live.